Examples of Ugrading

Putting chunks of narrative and turning them into dialogue helps speed things forward. As the guys enter the Big Sur campground on Day 15, Otto says to Roger, “Know what, it might look better if we get in with a group that has its own campsite, instead of comin’ in and outta the woods.  That way we good legit. We don’t wanna be tossed out by our collars.” All that was originally narrative, kind of laborious to describe, without tension. I changed it to dialogue after looking at it for years, and the result is a vast improvement. Then there’s the sharpening of words. When we were in Santa Cruz, hiking uphill to the college (which we never found), I wrote about the pain I was feeling. “I felt queasy, burdened, sore.  No clue were given as to dormitories.  Otto and I would be considered trespassers. I lumbered through the dark with increasing agony. Mist stung my face. My biceps were sore. Otto walked ahead slowly, as if rigor mortis was about to set in.” That was expanded from about two sentences to seven. Needed to flesh that one out more. Then on the morning of Day 35, after we had witnessed the Buddhist wedding, we wake up and discuss Christianity vs. Buddhism. It’s a healthy back and forth exchange, with Otto concluding, “It’s all one God anyway.” Roger adds, “Approach and perspective, that’s it.  The way, the truth, and the life.” So I'm able to give the edge to Christianity but without dissing another faith.